Divorce rates point to a world that does not see much success in marriage. For instance, in Maldives, the divorce rate is so high that the UN calculated that the typical Maldivian woman, by the age of 30, has been divorced three times (Marriage Advice). What are the causes of these high divorce rates? There are 10 main causes we can discuss.
Extramarital affairs is the main reason for divorces (Oliver). Infidelity causes anger and resentment among those who are married, and often tears apart the emotional connection couples have. Though one event of infidelity can be tackled through counseling, multiple accounts of extramarital affairs usually result in divorce.
Another main reason why people get divorced is money. Different spending habits, opposite financial goals, and a lack of money can produce great strain on a marriage (Oliver). If the couple has children, money becomes even more vital to the sustainability of the relationship.
Though it may seem minor, a lack of communication is another key reason for divorce. If one or both partners in the marriage feel they cannot express themselves properly, or feel they are not being listened to, resentment can easily settle in (Oliver). Yelling and interrupting are common signs that a couple is not communicating well.
Some people cannot stand the amount of arguments they have with their partners. If couples are
bickering constantly, the joy of marriage cannot show through (Oliver). Arguments commonly stem from not being able to understand another person’s view, which is essential in a healthy relationship.
Unfortunately, weight gain leads to many divorces. Say if a couple started out as both skinny, and one partner became overweight, the attraction to that partner might be lost. That loss of attraction causes many to turn in divorce papers, as they cannot fathom staying in a relationship with someone they do not feel comfortable with in a romantic way (Oliver).
Another prominent cause of divorce is unreasonable expectations (Oliver). It is good for the partners in marriage to discuss each other’s expectations before signing the matrimony papers, as partners often have varying expectations of what the marriage entails, and the positions the partners will hold in it. Sometimes one partner will have lofty expectations for the marriage without his or her partner realizing it.
Though love should be the overriding reason to get married, it seems, a lack of intimacy causes many couples to get divorced. The romantic, maybe even infatuated love that married couples feel in the beginning of their marriages eventually subsides. It is natural, but how the partners deal with this decrease in sexual contact often decides how the future marriage will pan out (Oliver).
Though common sense, equality in marriages is not often achieved. Each partner should feel equal in the marriage, and not dominated. Though it is delicate balance, it can be accomplished. Those who cannot achieve this often ask for a divorce, as they feel they are being shackled by his or her marriage instead of feeling a sense of joy and happiness from the relationship (Oliver).
Alas, some people are not prepared for marriage. Many people rush to get married in a romantic frenzy without taking in the consequences of such an action (Oliver). They could be unprepared in terms of financial stability, emotional stability, and mental stability. Surprisingly, the age group with the highest rate of divorce are people in their 20s (Oliver). So, when getting married, be sure that you feel that everything is set for the occasion.
A sad fact about marriages is that with emotional, physical, and mental strain, abuse can follow. This abuse does not have to refer to only physical abuse, but also emotional and psychological abuse (Oliver). Abuse can come from both men and women, and should not be thought of only as an attack against women, however women are subject to most of the physical abuse that occurs.
As you can see, the cause of divorce is multifaceted. Though one issue might put enough pressure on a marriage for the couple to go for a divorce, commonly a combination of problems arise that lend to the couple pondering the end of their relationship. Through infidelity, money issues, a lack of communication, constant arguing, weight gain, unrealistic expectations, a lack of intimacy, a lack of equality, a lack of preparedness, and abuse, marriages are broken. It is important for couples, therefore, to get counseling when any of these issues arise.
Oliver Smith (2017). Mapped: The countries with the highest divorce rate. [online] The Telegraph. Available at: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/maps-and-graphics/mapped-countries-with-highest-divorce-rate/ [Accessed 20 Sep. 2017].
Marriage Advice – Best Marriage Advice & Tips for Couples. (2017). 10 Most Common Reasons for Divorce | Marriage.Com. [online] Available at: https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/ [Accessed 20 Sep. 2017].
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Writing a Cause and Effect Essay
The causes of divorce (cause-effect essay)
The lack of communication is a common problem in the daily life. Unfortunately there are problems that avoid communication between the couple. Such as the job of both, sometimes the couple needs to work for having a better life. But the schedule is different and maybe the woman works in the morning and the man in the afternoon. Since the time that they live together is not enough, the couple cannot interchange their ideas, neither there is a confidence for trying to solve their problems. As a result, they get divorced.
The second important cause of divorces is the changing of women’s roles. In the past men had to earn money to afford the expenses of the family, and women only had to do the housework and she depended their husband. Nowadays this situation has changed, because of the equality between men and women, their roles are very similar, for example they share the roles such as cooking, cleaning. Washing, carrying the children and money. The last one is a clear example that women are independent because sometimes they have a better job for supporting their own living cost. Nevertheless, there are men that don’t want to accept the equality between men and women, furthermore many men are “machistas”, as a result they argue with their working wives and have problems that take them to the divorce.
Some young couples make the decision to get married when they are not prepared for supporting a marriage. Therefore, they have problems since the beginning such as economic, emotional and of experience. The couple don’t know how to solve the problems, and they have frequent arguments. In addition, a lot of times for avoiding problems, they conclude that is better to finish the relationship.
To conclude, before getting marriage, we have to think about all the things that imply being married. The cause of divorce are lamentable and we should try to consider them, for having a good relationship and avoid falling in the marriage.